Bill Burr Had An Epic Rant About Steve Jobs
When Steve Jobs passed away in 2011, he was a national folk hero — the Apple icon defined 21st-century life with innovations like the iPod, iPad and iPhone. But at least one comedian didn’t appreciate his contributions. “I’m not a big fan of Steve Jobs,” Bill Burr complained to Conan O’Brien back in 2012.
“He's like Edison,” protested O’Brien, unable to comprehend how anyone could have an issue with Jobs. “He invented all this stuff!”
But did he? Burr couldn’t imagine Jobs sitting down in his black turtleneck to invent the iPhone, welding away on electronic prototypes. “Didn’t he have a crew of guys helping him out?” Burr griped. “Why, when he went to those nerd fests, didn’t he have a chorus of scientists behind him who helped him out? He walked out like he was Tesla tapping into electricity.”
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Burr thinks the reality was different. In his version, boss man Jobs simply told his team of engineers what to invent. “I want my whole music collection in that phone! GET ON IT!”
What happened to all the nameless, fameless geniuses who actually made it happen? “They have the big nerd concert and he goes out there by himself — no belt, sneakers on,” Burr ranted. “I just didn’t buy it.”
Give Jobs a break, chided O’Brien. After all, late-night hosts don’t walk out to do their monologue with all of their writers standing behind them.
But Burr wasn’t done. Look at the self-aggrandizing way Jobs advertised his products. “Jesus! Gandhi! Me!”
And how big a genius could Jobs be? After he died, Burr noted, Apple still came out with another iPhone.
The comedian was even more vicious during 2012’s Night of Too Many Stars, mocking Jobs as “Nerd Jesus.” He couldn’t understand why people were so upset when Jobs died. “They were like, ‘He changed the world! The world was one way, and then Steve Jobs came and it was another!’” But what was Jobs's actual role, Burr wanted to know. “Somebody, for the love of God, what the fuck did that guy do? He told other people what to invent!”
He imitated the poor engineers who had to pull off the impossible. “What the fuck — how are we gonna do all of this? What year does this guy think this is? This is crazy, this is like Buck Rogers! Dude, my kid has a birthday in 11 months!”
In Burr’s imaginary scenario, Jobs walks by “eating some pretentious fruit” and puts an ear to the door. “I don’t hear any thinking going on in there!”
Burr expanded his rant about Apple using Gandhi and John Lennon in its advertisements as well. “How the fuck was (Jobs) like any of them? Gandhi never had a sweatshop! Nah, he didn’t have people leaping to their deaths only to catch a net and get ricocheted back through the window so they have to put together another iPad. John Lennon didn’t have children in his basement pressing those fucking albums.”
Burr had had enough. “New phone can’t fit the old charger. This is your hero?”
